


The Most Military Man

by annabeth_at_the_helm



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Frank being Frank, Gen, Hawk & Trap being themselves too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:40:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24336022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annabeth_at_the_helm/pseuds/annabeth_at_the_helm
Summary: Frank is boasting. Margaret is not entertained.
Relationships: "Trapper" John McIntyre & Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce, Frank Burns & Margaret Houlihan
Kudos: 8





	The Most Military Man

**Author's Note:**

> Written for "pretentious" on my Get Your Words Out Yahtzee prompt set #6.

"I'll have you know I'm the most military man in this outfit, unlike you hooligans," Frank said. "My uniform is always pressed and my medical opinion is sought after. Even at home, in my private practice; well! I can barely keep up, I have to turn so many patients away." Frank smiled at them self-importantly and Hawkeye rolled his eyes so hard he thought they'd break.

"What about Margaret?" Trapper asked, picking at his teeth. "Seems to me she's the most military man."

"I hardly think so!" Frank's chest puffed up visibly as he spoke. "For one thing, _McIntyre_ , she's not a _man_! And though she is a fine nurse no one compares to me for discipline. Besides, no one has steadier hands than me in a crisis!"

"I'd watch out, Frank, if I were you," Hawkeye said, pitching a balled up napkin at Trapper, who caught it and batted it back to him. They both turned, and standing in the mess tent, frowning above their table…

"I'm only a _fine nurse_? That's all the credit I get from you? _Frank!_ " Margaret yelled, the decibel level only slightly below that of a roaring waterfall. Hawkeye and Trapper exchanged a look as Frank spluttered, trying to explain himself.

"He deserves what he gets," Trapper said, and Hawkeye nodded, and they settled back to watch the Frank & Margaret Show once again.

END


End file.
